Saturday, 26 December 2009

I have just recieved the following upgrades from God

Ten v.2.0

Never cross a picket line.

Don’t kill anybody unless there is an overwhelming social benefit.

Don’t steal anything unless 1) you really really need it and the owner doesn’t really really need it or 2) the value of it is too small to be bothered about.

Be nice to people where possible.

Infidelity should be avoided if possible where relationships are still broadly mutually satisfactory or better.

Try and reduce your carbon footprint in ways you can manage but don’t get all moralistic about it.

Don’t over eat, drink or sleep except at Christmas.

Don’t swear in unamusing ways.

Aspire to leaving the world a better place than you found it.

Don’t covert your neighbours ox (I think this one still stands).


  1. "Don’t covert your neighbours ox"

    I wonder how frequently the priests get this one at confession?

  2. "Covert"? Surely you mean "covet"?

    Because "covert" implies doing secretive things with the ox, something that only hillbillies and Tory MPs are into.